The internet is defending a woman who insisted that her husband pays for makeup he threw away.
Published to Reddit‘s “AmITheA**hole” forum, a woman under the username u/throw65687 posted her story for the community to decide if she was in the wrong. The post has 7,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
To begin, the Reddit user explained how she had skin problems throughout her life and was finally able to use makeup. Her husband “consents” to her wearing eye shadow. However, he doesn’t like her using “wild” colors like blue, purple, red and other light colors.
“He told me to tond it down because some of these eye shadows give strangers the wrong impression, in other words I’d look like a h00*er wearing them. I took his opinion under consideration but he still wasn’t happy,” she wrote.
When she noticed that her husband threw away all of her eyeshadow palettes, she snapped at him asking why he would do that. His reasoning was her using “inappropriate” colors while going to see his parents. He explained to her that he gave her a “warning” about wearing bold colors and shouldn’t be surprised.
The woman continued, “He said it wasn’t is fault I brushed him off and refused to listen when he said I was looking like a clown and was embarrassing him. Now this made me feel so offeneded. I refused to talk to him after that.”
He complained to her that she was making a big deal out of him throwing away her belongings and should wear “colorless” eye shadow shades.
Advice columnist Jenée Desmond-Harris, writing for Slate’s “Dear Prudence” column said about another instance of a husband throwing away his wife’s things, “That borders on stealing, and I worry about what such a habit says about his respect for you and your preferences.”
The “AmITheA**hole” community were quick to defend the Reddit user.
“[Not the A**hole]. This is way bigger than just eyeshadow. 1. He shouldn’t get to ‘consent’ to whether your wear makeup or not. It’s your body and your face. 2. He made demands that you do what he wanted. When you refused to listen, he threw out YOUR stuff and said you shouldn’t be surprised, because he ‘warned’ you. Who is he to warn you about anything? He’s your husband, not your lord and master,” u/Arbor_Arabicae received the top comment with over 15,000 upvotes.
“3. Now, he’s minimizing his behavior. He has no right to try to dictate how you should look. If he tried that on a co-worker, he’d get arrested or, at least, it would be grounds for being written up or fired. Why is it okay that he does that to you, someone he supposedly loves? This is not going to get better, OP. He thinks he has the right to control you and will keep on doing that. I’d get out now,” they continued.
U/yaneverknow19 wrote, “[Not the A**hole]. Also those are huge red flags. Get out now. He shouldn’t be telling you what you can and can not wear whether it be clothing or make-up. That’s just controlling and he should absolutely pay you back.”
“[Not the A**hole]. You’re 30 years old, not his daughter or needing his permission. Aside from being incredibly rude throwing away YOUR OWN PROPERTY, it’s also abusive and controlling behavior. He should absolutely pay to replace it and keep his damn hands off it,” u/WholeAd2742 exclaimed.
Newsweek reached out to u/throw65687 for comment.